Maybe you’re going through a tough time. Maybe you’re having trouble sleeping, or getting out of bed, or you’re dealing with a difficult relationship. Maybe you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or even hopeless.
Well, no matter what’s going on in your life, no matter how helpless you feel, there’s always something you can do to feel better. The trick is to find the specific things that work for you.
Maybe you’ve read online about something guaranteed to cure anxiety, or your friend swears by a technique that promises to magically cure all your fears and worries. The truth is that there are a lot of opinions and approaches to easing anxiety. They are not all created equal. And there is no magic cure that I know of.
But if you’re ready to start feeling better, here are 20 scientifically-proven techniques you can use to ease your anxiety. My hope in sharing these is that even ONE of them will work for you.
All you have to do is try them on by one until you find what does the trick for you.
1. Get connected.
It’s easier to deal with anxiety when you don’t have to do it alone. Research shows that having strong social connections is a powerful way to ease the symptoms of our anxiety. According to a 2023 study, a lack of a caring community “is a negatively associated with self-reported symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress.” [1] Whether you call a friend, volunteer, or join a group, having some emotional support can play an important part in getting you through your darkest days.
2. Get some rest.
According to a recent study in Medical Research Reviews, getting enough sleep eases anxiety. It may also help us better deal with PTSD, burnout, and our intrusive negative thoughts.[2] Unplugging for even a short while acts as a reboot – both physically and emotionally. So, if you’re tired, take a nap or just go to bed. Getting enough sleep can be just what you need to soothe your anxiety.
3. Sit up straight.
Good posture can make a real difference not only in how you feel physically but in how you think and how you feel. A study in Health Psychology reports that an upright posture contributes to a better sense of self-esteem and fewer negative and fearful thoughts.[3] Good posture helps you access positive empowering thoughts. It also helps you to think more clearly, feel more confident, and feel less anxious. Not convinced? Sit up straight and see how much better you feel.
4. Go for a walk outdoors.
For years we’ve been hearing that walking outside will lift your spirits and ease your worries. And research backs that up. According to a 2022 study in the Journal of Clinical Medicine walking outdoors offers a “statistically significant improvement to anxiety levels.”[4] No doubt about it, going for a walk both energizes our bodies and soothes the anxious part of our brains. So, lace up your sneakers and go out and see world.
5. Listen.
Since the dawn of time, humankind has used music to feel better. And today science proves that listening to the music you love can ease pain, reduce stress, and lift your spirits. A study in Brain Sciences found that while anxiety reduction was similar for both fast and slow music, “slow music had a better effect on anxiety.” [5] Feeling anxious? Put on some mellow tunes and relax.
6. Engage your sense of smell.
The studies prove that the nose knows. Aromatherapy can improve your sleep, lower your blood pressure, and ease your worried thoughts. According to a study in the Journal of Affective Disorders, “aromatherapy with different essential oils could alleviate anxiety significantly no matter the reason of anxiety.” Proof that using oils like lavender oil, rose oil, and lemon bergamot oil can help boost your mood and reduce your stress level.[6]
7. Sip a cup of tea.
Today’s research proves what so many cultures have already discovered, drinking tea can reduce stress both in our minds and our bodies. A study in Psychopharmacology found that drinking tea every day for six weeks led to “lower post-stress cortisol and greater subjective relaxation.” So, taking time out for a cup of tea might be just what you need to bring a sense of calm into your life.[7]
8. Pamper yourself.
You may already know that getting a massage or any body work can relax you physically. But we now have proof that it’s a great way to care for our worried mind as well. A 2019 study found that all types of massage proved helpful in reducing anxiety as well as reducing pain and blood pressure.[8] So, to soothe your worries and fears, all you have to do is allow yourself to relax physically.
9. Play with a fidget toy.
Not only are fidget spinners and stress balls fun to use, research now shows that they can help relieve stress and worry by distracting us from our thoughts and cares.[9] Today, instead of worrying, why not go play.
10. Write about it.
If you can’t or don’t want to share your feelings with anyone else, the science suggests that journaling is a great way to ease your worried mind. Journaling helps you get a better understanding of your fears and at the same time eases your stress. A study that followed 99 people who kept journals for 12 weeks found that journaling reduced stress, lowered anxiety, and contributed to a better overall quality of life.[10] Putting your worried thoughts into words allows you to name them and over time find ways to tame them.
11. Try animal therapy.
Many of us instinctively know that spending time with an animal is great way to lighten our mood and reduce our stress. And now we have proof that we’re right. According to a 2019 study, “research has shown that pet owners, and particularly dog owners, have greater life satisfaction, enhanced self-esteem, reduced levels of loneliness and anxiety, more ambition and more positive moods.”[11] Whether you watch the birds, visit or volunteer at a local shelter, or pet your neighbor’s dog, experiencing the connection between you and an animal can make you feel less isolated.
12. Breathe.
If you want to calm yourself in the moment all you have to do is slow and deepen your breathing. Simply inhale deep into your belly and then exhale slowly, making sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. As you continue to breathe, notice how both your body and mind relax. And here’s the science that proves it works. A 2023 study appearing in Scientific Reports found that deep breathing lowers our stress level, our cortisol level (the stress hormone), and significantly lowers our anxiety. [12]
13. Meditate.
Since the dawn of time our ancestors have used meditation to bring a sense of calm to body and mind. And today research proves that meditation is a powerful way to ease our anxiety and worried thoughts. A study in Depression and Anxiety, found that there’s “consistent and robust evidence,” that meditation is effective in easing anxiety.[13] And meditation doesn’t have to be complicated. Just sit quietly. Let your body and mind relax notice how your breath flows in and out and let the sense of peace and ease flow through your body and your mind.
14. Trust yourself and your capabilities.
A 2021 study in Scientific Reports found that having a positive attitude towards yourself is central to good mental health and can go a long way to ease our negative thinking.[14] Believing in ourselves – and what we’re capable of doing – makes us better able to cope with the stress and challenges of life. So, if you’re struggling, remind yourself of all the tough times you’ve been through. Tell yourself that if you were able to get through that, you have the strength and courage to get through whatever lies ahead.
15. Practice affirmations.
Affirmations are positive statements about what we would like to have or would like to be. We can use those affirmations to challenge or even replace our negative thoughts. Not only that, affirmations can decrease stress, help us shift to a more positive focus, and be more open to change. And some compelling research in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience now suggests that repeating affirmations can actually rewire our brain toward more positive, empowering, and resilient way of thinking.[15] To soothe your fears, affirm the positive.
16. Reframe your negative thoughts.
We now have proof that changing our worried thoughts and the negative stories we tell ourselves can change how we think, feel, and act. When we stop scaring ourselves by imagining the worst, and start telling ourselves about the positive possibilities, we lower the level of fear and move more confidently into the future. And a 2016 study found that replacing our negative thoughts with more positive thinking, and focusing on positive outcomes, caused significant reduction in worry and anxiety. [16]
17. Clean out the clutter.
Clutter can make you feel overwhelmed, like your life is out of control and your brain is on overload. Getting rid of things can help lift your mood, ease your stress, and help remind you that you have some control in your life. A 2010 study found that women living in cluttered homes had higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) throughout their day, than women in cleaner environments. Cleaning out that closet can bring a sense of order to your environment, and a sense of calm into your life.[17]
18. Do something for someone else.
Research proves that acts of kindness make us feel better about our place in the world and more comfortable with the people around us. According to a study in Frontiers in Psychology, giving “not only benefits those who receive but also benefits the giver.” Helping others can help us feel better about ourselves, make us less vulnerable to our negative thoughts and can help us better cope with a crisis.[18]
19. Forgive.
Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you did the best you could at the time. And now that we know better, we’re going to do better. So why forgive? According to an article in Cogent Psychology, forgiving can help us feel calmer, more relaxed, emotionally stable, and better able to handle life’s challenge.[19] You don’t have to like or condone what happened. You just have to put down the burden of the anger, the guilt or the shame you’ve been carrying, and free yourself from the weight of that pain.
20. Get some help.
If nothing’s working and you’re feeling stuck or hopeless, it’s time to consider getting help:
So, let’s agree to do something. Try one of these tiny actions and see if it works. There’s always something that can help you feel better.
More Anxiety Tools for Your Toolbox
If you want to learn more about strategies for battling anxiety, I’ve written an “Anxiety Handbook” called, Calm & Sense: A Woman's Guide to Living Anxiety-Free: https://wendyleeds.com/book.
All of Part Three (Chapters 11-25) is about RE-FRAMING anxiety, which focuses on changing the negative thoughts that drive the worry, fear, and stress.
And all of Part Four (Chapters 26-52) is about TAMING your anxiety, a set of hyper-practical tools and techniques like these that aim help you find a set of reliable methods to quell anxiety spikes.
Speaking of which, there’s a great community of women who understand what it’s like to live with anxiety:
My Facebook page, where we come together and share perspectives about all things anxiety: https://facebook.com/wendyleedskeepingcalm
My YouTube page, where I have my free mini-course, "Why You're Anxious & What to Do About It" and more: https://youtube.com/@wendyleedskeepingcalm
My email newsletter, where I notify you of new blog posts like this one and new episodes of our Anxiety Connection: https://wendyleeds.com/subscribe
I’m not just a psychotherapist; I understand the challenges of anxiety first-hand. So please join with the rest of us so that you don’t have to feel like you’re fighting this alone.
References
[1] Eunice Y. Park, et al. “Sense of Community and Mental Health: a Cross-Sectional Analysis From a Household Survey in Wisconsin.” Family Medicine and Community Health.” (June 2023). 11(2). doi: 10.1136/fmch-2022-001971.
[2] Alexander J. Scott, et al. “Improving Sleep Quality Leads to Better Mental Health: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials. Sleep” Medical Research Reviews. 2021 (December 2021).60:101556. doi: 10.1016/j.smrv.2021.101556.
[3] Shwetha Nair S, et al. “Do Slumped and Upright Postures Affect Stress Responses? A Randomized Trial.” Health Psychology. (June 2015) 34(6. doi: 10.1037/hea0000146.
[4] Simone Grassini “A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Nature Walk as an Intervention for Anxiety and Depression.” Journal of Clinical Medicine. (Mar 21, 2022). 11(6). doi: 10.3390/jcm11061731.
[5] Binsin Hurang, et al. “The Benefits of Music Listening for Induced State Anxiety: Behavioral and Physiological Evidence.” Brain Sciences. (October 2020). (;11 Brain Sci. 2021, 11(10), 1332; https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci11101332
[6] Minmin Gong, et al..”Effects of Aromatherapy on Anxiety: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials.” Journal of Affective Disorders. (September 2020). 1;274 doi: 10.1016/j.jad.2020.05.118.
[7] Andrew Steptoe, et al. “The Effects of Tea on Psychophysiological Stress Responsivity and Post-Stress Recovery: a Randomised Double-Blind Trial.” Psychopharmacology (January 2007). 2007.) https://doi.org/10.1007/s00213-006-0573-2
[8] Srimathi Subramaniam, “Massage Therapy for Anxiety Reduction: A Systematic Review.” Journal of Sports and Games. (January 2019. 1(2). DOI:10.22259/2642-8466.0102003
[9] Michael Karlesky and Katherine Isbister. “Understanding Fidget Widgets: Exploring the Design Space of Embodied Self-Rebulation.” NordiChi’16.
(October, 2016). https://doi.org/10.1145/2971485.2971557
[10] Joshua M. Smyth, et al. “Online Positive Affect Journaling in the Improvement of Mental Distress and Well-Being in General Medical Patients with Elevated Anxiety Symptoms: A Preliminary Randomized Controlled Trial.” JMIR Mental Health. (Dec 10, 2018). 5(4). doi: 10.2196/11290.
[11] Emily L. R. Thelwell. “Paws for Thought: A Controlled Study Investigating the Benefits of Interacting with a House-Trained Dog on University Students Mood and Anxiety.” Animals (Basel). (October 21, 2019). 9(10). doi: 10.3390/ani9100846.
[12] Guy William Fincham, et al. “Effect of Breathwork on Stress and Mental Health: A Meta-Analysis of Randomised-Controlled Trials.” Scientific Reports. (January 2023). 9;13(1). doi: 10.1038/s41598-022-27247-y.
[13] Kevin W. Chen, et al. “Meditative Therapies for Reducing Anxiety: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials.” Depression and Anxiety. (July 2012). 29(7) doi: 10.1002/da.21964.
[14] Nora Czekalla, et al. “Self-Beneficial Belief Updating as a Coping Mechanism for Stress-iIduced Negative Affect.” Scientific Reports. (August 24, 2021)). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-96264-0
[15] Christopher N. Cascio, et al. “Self-Affirmation Activates Brain Systems Associated with Self-Related Processing and Reward and is Reinforced by Future Orientation.” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. (April,2016).11(4) doi: 10.1093/scan/nsv136.
[16] Claire Eagleson, et al. “The power of positive thinking: Pathological Worry is Reduced by Thought Replacement in Generalized Anxiety Disorder.” Behavior Research and Therapy Journal. (March, 2016). 8:13-8. doi: 10.1016/j.brat.2015.12.017.
[17] Darby E. Saxbe and Rena Repetti. “No Place Like Home: Home Tours Correlate with Daily Patterns of Mood and Cortisol.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (2010); 36(1), https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167209352864
[18] Juan C. Espinosa, et al.” Helping Others Helps Me: Prosocial Behavior and Satisfaction With Life During the COVID-19 Pandemic.” Frontiers in Psychology. (January 27, 2022). 27;13.. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.762445.
[19] aul, Raj, C.S., et al. “Mental Health Through Forgiveness: Exploring the Roots and Benefits.” Cogent Psychology (2016). 3(1). https://doi.org/10.1080/23311908.2016.1153817
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